just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
