I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I look better un-naked...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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