i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
