I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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