Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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