I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
