Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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