This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
