But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
