Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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