we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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