Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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