i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
