Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize