He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize