Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize