My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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