i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
