i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
