No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
