i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
