So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
