New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
