I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
