I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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