I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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