Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
