The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
