just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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