so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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