I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
