Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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