dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
