sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
