they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
