I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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