The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize