who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This house was built for laser tag.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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