Having a random hookup so left but love u
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize