i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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