Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
