Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
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i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
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He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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