question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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