But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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