I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
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how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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