it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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