After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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