I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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