do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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