Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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