xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
