it was like having sex with a tree stump
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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