You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
