if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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