are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We had to coat check the pizza.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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