I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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