Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
