I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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