Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
