Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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