If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize