There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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