: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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