I swear she didn't look like that last week.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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