I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
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Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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