Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
