butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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